How Do I Love You

How do I Love You?

How do I love you?

Let me count the ways.

I love you till the very end

When our hair has whites and grays.

I love it when you smile

When I wake you with a kiss

I love to hear your wants and dreams

And thoughts of love and bliss

I love it when we read a book

All cuddled in our bed

I love it when you scratch my back

And run your fingers on my head

I love that I can tell you

Every thought that's in my brain

And the times that we've gone walking

And we've ran out in the rain

I love the way you laugh at times 

So hard it makes you snort

When you're laughing even harder

And I hear a little fart

I love that you have giv'n your life

To me and our two boys

That you've done without the extras

All the jewelry and the toys

I love the way you smell at night

When I lay down by your side

I love the life we've had so far

It has been an awesome ride.

I love it when you say those words

I've dreamed of all my life

I love that I have found my girl,

My best friend, and my wife.

I love each day I spend with you

And the excitement in your eyes

Each adventure that we have and share

You're my shoulder when I cry

I love the day we said "I do"

It was the greatest day and night

I love the way we make up

When we've had a little fight

I love you babe forever

On and on without an end

And I hope that you will know this

From this message that I send.

I thought something on a little more of a positive note would be nice.

Hope and Happiness

Hope and Happiness

 

Sometimes it’s like I’m almost drowning

And slipping far away from shore

The light gets closed to dark like sunset

And hope and happiness are torn

 

The coldness all around is chilling

My spirit freezing from within

No feeling for my heart to cling too

And hope and happiness are dim

 

It seems that yesterday was shining

And beauty sat right at my door

But yesterday could be forever

With hope and happiness no more

 

When will I feel more like the sunshine

Is sweeping on into my heart

With each new breathe comes moments gladness

When hope and happiness won’t part

 

Why can’t I shake off all these feelings

That keep repeating from within

From some far place that’s not too distant

The hope and happiness will win

 

The darkness focuses around me

With brightness beaming all around

Some day that light will break through darkness

So hope and happiness surround

 

Life in turn is like a long road

With peaks and valleys as we go

Light and darkness always fighting

But hope and happiness will show

 

 

It Smelled Like Fried Chicken

Fighting the fire with flames,

To tame the heat, cut out desire.

Freezing the cold from within,

From heart of ice, so hard and tired.

Try as I may

Feeling this way

Hurt, though I stay

Too dead to pray

All stuffed inside my fairytale dream,

I hurt the ones I love.

When soft words grow, to overblown,

I cry so much I scream.

I FEEL 

SO SMALL

AND BIG 

AT ONCE

COULD RIP

RIGHT THROUGH

MY SKIN

I BREATH

AN POUT

AND CAN'T

WORK OUT

THE FIGHTING

FROM WITHIN

Please don't forgive me,

of the sins I have spewed

like a scum from deep inside.

It smelled like fried chicken

when I swallowed it whole,

but it hurt so bad I cried.

But you washed me in water,

With the tears that did flow,

From your eyes so clean and pure.

And the freshness that covered

All my body and soul,

Was my saving grace and cure.

How do I fight?

How do I stay?

With all this danger

Coming my way.

You are my last push,

To something less warm.

So please don't give up

from the hurt you have borne.

Final Moments

 One last smell

One last kiss

One last taste

One last wish

 

Final December

Finished up May

Wishing for sunshine

Threw it away

 

Needing a moment

Hoping for rain

Wanting vanilla

Crying for spring

 

Remembering summer

Tasting whip cream

Feeling my nose itch

Needing to scream

 

Yearning for Rachel

One last good fight

One last pure moment

One last great night

 

Tasting her goodness

Feeling her hair

Smelling her beauty

Wanting her there

 

Watching my kids grow

Loving each day

Smiling Spencer

Garret at play

 

Reaching for something

Praying for truth

Smelling spring oranges

Feeling aloof

 

Hidden from snowflakes

Can’t find delight

Needing to touch you

Love to feel right

 

Looking around me

Can’t even see

With all this vision

Where could I be?

 

One last forgetting

One last delight

One last September

Wish me good night

Heaven's Around the Corner

I'm tired.

I want to be better.

Better at what?

At being me.

Why does there have to be a better you?

When did you find out you were broken?

I might have always been broken.

Maybe that is the way you are supposed to be.

What if it is?

Why do I feel so hurt sometimes, so incomplete?

Why do I feel like everyone is looking at me funny?

Maybe you're crazy.

Or maybe everyone else is.

When was the last time you cried?

Do you ever tell yourself "I love you"?

What if I don't?

Do you ever feel like your heart weighs a million pounds?

Like it is sinking in your chest.

Why do you feel that way?

I don't know, but it hurts,

More then a cut,

Or a bruise,

Or even a broken bone.

It's like I missed out on something in life,

And I will never get to do that one thing again.

What should I do with those feelings?

Push them deep inside?

What if they explode?

I don't know!

But I think that everybody feels like that sometimes.

You just have to learn to live with being imperfect.

Know that life is hell on earth sometimes,

But that heaven is just right around the corner.

Every person walking around you has the same kinds of thoughts,

and feels the same kinds of things.

If you could hear them you would know you weren't alone.

Everyone else is human too.

LOST!

I can't find my light again

The words that expose my soul

The truth that once freely flowed

Like fish from a broken bowl.

I used to be kind

I used to be meek

But now I am tired

and feeling so weak

Fresh out

of words

Just sound 

Absurd

LOST!